how negativity saved me from injury

Last Wednesday, I waited for a squat rack at the gym for more than 15 minutes. You usually never have to wait more than a few minutes, but they gym was busy. And when my turn came, I hurt myself right away.

It turns out I was more prone to injury than I thought.

Whenever I work out my legs, I spend 15 minutes beforehand just stretching and warming up so I don’t hurt myself. I can’t just hop into the workout like I would have done in high school.

Even though I warmed up for 15 minutes before my workout Wednesday, I stood around and didn’t move at all while waiting for the squat rack. My body cooled down during that time.

I should have gone through another quick warm-up before starting, but I already wasted so much time waiting. I dove right into the workout.

At this point, I should have remembered my history of doing squats…

One year ago, I hurt my lower back from squatting too much with bad form. I couldn’t work out for a week, and my back would tighten up any time I sat for longer than 10 minutes.

Thankfully I fully healed after a few weeks, but the injury scared me. I didn’t do squats for over six months.

But eventually, I regained the courage to face the squat rack. In May, I squatted again for the first time, and guess what…

I hurt my lower back in the same way.

This time around, I became more careful. I made sure to warm up my whole body before the workout. Yet, it failed. I had to take another week off from the gym and once more declared I’d never squat again.

But I lied to myself.

Because three weeks ago, I reunited with the squat rack, being more careful than ever. I took every precaution possible to ensure my safety. I survived three weeks…

Just three weeks.

I lowered to the bottom of my squat on Wednesday, and my back gave out as I pushed up. A sharp pain swarmed my lower back.

This one was worse than the previous two.

The five-minute ride home from the gym felt like an hour. Sitting upright felt like tiny needles poking me. I spent the rest of the day lying down on the couch.

The pain made me skip work the next day. I woke up in the morning and somehow survived rolling out of bed. As I began to change, I started to put on my socks, but I couldn’t.

Anytime I bent over, pain raced through my back. And if I tried lifting my leg to put on my sock, I couldn’t.

Hurting my back once could have been a fluke. But you’d think I’d learn my lesson and not squat again after the second time. But now, after hurting myself three times, I hope the lesson sticks.

I didn't even know why I started squatting again three weeks ago. My previous two experiences should have held me back.

But they didn’t.

I’ve just finished reading this book, The Power of Bad, written by two psychologists. They explored the impacts of the “negativity effect” on our psychological states.

The psychologists found that the difference between negative and positive events is that the negative ones have a greater impact on us psychologically.

But when it comes to negative and positive emotions, the positive ones stick around longer while the negative ones fade away quicker.

The negative emotions I associated with squatting at the gym from the first two injuries affected me enough to prevent me from squatting.

But those negative emotions were never strong enough to hold me back forever.

The two injuries were not severe enough to require medical attention from the doctor. I only needed some rest to heal fully. Had they sent me to the doctor, I think they would have kept me from hurting myself a third time.

The negative emotions faded away enough to no longer haunt me. Over time, I developed the courage to rechallenge the squat rack.

But now I understand the negative emotions associated with squatting at the gym.

Even though this time hurt more than the last two, it wasn’t enough to send me to the doctor. So, I’m curious to see how this new emotional association will play out in the future.

I don’t want to do squats at the gym ever again. I can complete my workouts without them and lower the risk of a fourth injury.

I know I have the strength to stay away from them for now, but I don’t know how I will feel in six months.

For all I know, my negative association with squatting may fade away like the last two times. If it does, I may dance with injury once more.

So if I’m writing to you again in half a year, talking about another back injury, then we’ll know whether negativity keeps me safe or not.